Today my baby girl Blakelyn is 11 weeks old, I like to call her B or baby girl stupid I know, but that's just my thing. I decided to start a blog to document what's going on her life as well as mine because one day I want her to look back and read all the random idiotic things mama did. My inspiration comes from a book my friend Mandy referred me to called "Sparkly Green Earrings" by Malanie Shankle. So I bought the book the kindle version of course and started reading. I felt like this girl was describing me, she is a mother who started a blog because she doesn't scrap book (who has time for that) but she wanted to document what's going on in her daughters life. So I thought why don't you start a blog so your baby girl will know all your crazy stories and she can read all about her life when she was a little girl. Now I am here to state that I am no writer and don't claim to be one, I can't put sentences together and I miss spell words all the time. So don't judge me if my writing seems all over the map, there is so much going on with my life that I feel I need to write it down.
Today was a good day Chad woke up at 3am and drove to Missouri and then I woke up about 7am fed baby girl and then we both went back to sleep about 9. I contemplated on do I really want to get up and get ready for church, yes self get up you haven't been in 3 weeks. Anyway after church we came home I fed her and then she passed out while I cleaned. What I wished I was doing was walking at the park on this beautiful day, but she was resting so peaceful I just couldn't wake her up.
The old Ryan would have been probably hung over on this Sunday from a previous evening's of having a little to much fun. Selfish Ryan went out the door when I peed on that little stick and bam prego! Stopped smoking & drinking and thought ok I have this little creature growing in me I've got to behave from now on. I spoke to Courtney today and yes she was hung over & even got sick last night, idiot! I really don't know why I'm calling her an idiot I would have been right beside her having fun. I pray for her all the time to get pregnant, she is gonna be such a good mama and I know she won't be out acting like a fool & drinking to much. It's crazy how this little human being can change your whole life, and it is true the instant love I felt the moment she was born. I'm one of those naive people who thinks it's going to take me just a little bit of time to fall in love with this person I mean nobody falls in love that quick.. Nope it's true instant & total love, like the kind where you would cut someone into a million piece's if they ever messed with her kind of love.
Well like I said earlier she is 11 weeks old today and growing longer and longer every day it seems. I just stare at her sometimes and think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, and sometimes I get teary eyed just staring at her. I think sometimes I can be an emotional person, but i try to be so tough all the time I don't want anyone to really think I'm just a big puss. I cried in the second chapter of reading "Sparkly Green Earrings". When she found out she was pregnant and then went to the doctor and then went back a week later and she had miscarried I couldn't imagine having to go through something like that. I'm so blessed to have never gone through that and so thankful that my baby girl is healthy in every way. I'm looking forward to the days when she is going to wrap those little arms around me and tell me how much she loves me, I'm not going to look forward to the teen years when I'm sooooo not cool to even hang around with. I'm just glad that's a million years from now. Back to the whole crying thing, is it just me or as you get older you get a lot more sappier?
When I was in my 20's I could have cared less about the news or politics (well honesty I still could care less about politics) but for some reason I do pay attention a little more about what our president does have to say. And I do feel like he is a compasionate president, whether people like him or not.
I'm very fortunate to have a job where I should work full time but I don't because I don't want to get burned out by what I'm doing. And plus I love spending all my free time with baby girl. Well my free time used to be get off about 2 or 3 and then going to hit up the local watering hole for a few. Nope those days are long gone! Well it's off to bed, this old lady has to go to bed early to get my 8 hrs of sleep or I'm cranky. Plus Chad just called from Missouri, him & Neal are probably sitting around a fire drinking a beer awe I'm jealous.
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